Tanishi

Not years old, but windows broken. Yep, third time’s a charm and W broke his third window yesterday. Not his fault though in his defence - Dadda put Spoffy in the remote controlled toy car (which is about the size of dodgem car) and told him to drive. Unfortunately the car was 1) fully charged and 2) pointing directly at the window.  Well that’s one way to find out whether or not the windows in the back room are made from safety glass or not - with “not” being the winner. Unharmed child, just a bit shaken, and a groaning bank account methinks.

Given that a window that was 70 x 30 cm cost $110 to replace, I don’t even want to know how much a window that is 120 x 90cm will cost. Combined with the $1100 I need to spend on my teeth then this has been a top month.

Why you shouldn’t leave your 9 month old daughter to play unattended in the back of the house that has been previously child-proofed:Bicycle grease + curious cruiser = big black mess. everywhere.

you must read this blog and laugh awkwardly when you recognise yourself.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

“Fattie O’Clock” in our household means it’s time to turn on the teev to watch The Biggest Loser. It is the highlight of my day, settling down on the couch on my fat arse and watching fellow fatties sweat it up. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry….ok, you’ll mostly laugh. Mostly laugh with rather than at, and be moderately inspired too.

However, it is hilariously, and HIDEOUSLY, cliched at times, and verging on self-parody. Hence Adam and I have come up with The Biggest Loser drinking game. Guaranteed to get you absolutely off your face within half an hour.

The Biggest Loser Drinking Game consists of four simple rules:

1) Every time someone cries, take a drink

2) Everytime someone mentions the word “journey”, take a drink

3) Everytime someone mentions that blah blah “will change the face/course of the game forever”, skoll your remaining drink

4) Everytime someone says “…in Biggest Loser history”, skoll your remaining drink

Whilst watching tonight’s episode, in the space of 10 minutes, we would have downed 3 full drinks and about 5-6 sips.

Of course we are only drinking diet cola, of course. Caffeine free diet cola. But if you were to accidentally drop 2-3 shots of bourbon into said cola, then  you would be  a very happy camper indeed.

Fascinating until you get to the pictures, which creep. me. out

But to make you feel better, check this out (video).

Ah Japan, can you do no wrong?

…was the amount of time you should take to brush your teeth, twice a day, according a Grade 2 report that I did. I am not sure what I was going to do in Grade 3 after I had completely brushed my teeth to bloodied stumps with that 10 minutes, twice a day routine.

I fell asleep whilst typing an email this morning. This is what I typed:

:I a sure it will ge fine otherssssse“

I can’t remember what exactly it was that I was meant to be typing though.

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Here is Spoffinator’s account of how the household spent our 6th wedding anniversary:

“…and then we had sushi and then we had icecream cockroach”

“ICECREAM COCKROACH??!?!?!”

“Yeah!”

(pause as we all try and decipher this)

“You mean an icecream spider, Wil”, says Adam with a grin

“Yeah”, giggling, “cockroach spider!!!!!!!!”

We put Hako down today, after her increasingly erratic behaviour and inability to defecate anywhere other than the loungeroom carpet became too much.

When Spoff asked this afternoon where Hako was, Adam started off by explaining she was gone.  Not quite understanding, Spoff repeated the question. I then intervened and thinking that honesty was the best policy, told Spoff in my gentlest, most caring voice, “Sweetie, Hako died”  To which he replied “NO!” in an angry voice.

“Yes sweetie, I’m sorry, she died”

“Hako not died! Hako not died! Hako gone on the bus to see aminals! HAKO ON THE BUS! TO! SEE! AMINALS!”

And then he asked for another lolly snake.

Obviously devastated.

RIP Hako, may the aminal bus be full of furry companions and endless rubs.